


Try (and that's not only what you score in rugby)

by dontwakeme_causeimdreaming



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bellarke, Bellarke fic, Childhood Friends, Drinking, F/M, Flashbacks, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Long-Distance Friendship, Mild Sexual Content, One Shot, Smoking, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, Underage Drinking, bellarke AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:54:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21677401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontwakeme_causeimdreaming/pseuds/dontwakeme_causeimdreaming
Summary: Clarke has a tendency of omitting certain details about her friendship with Bellamy, but one wine night, her roommates are able to pull the full story from her.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 131





	Try (and that's not only what you score in rugby)

**Author's Note:**

> I decided flashbacks are a fun way to weave multiple story prompts into one fic, so here's a flashback/friends to lovers fic/ modern au no one asked for.
> 
> As always, I do not own the 100. Those rights go to Kass Morgan and Jason Rothenberg. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always much appreciated
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: dontwakeme-causeimdreaming

By 10 PM on Friday night, Clarke Griffin was already in her favorite powder blue pajamas with the silver thread snowflakes, drinking a glass of gas station pink Moscato wine and watching a cringe-worthy Netflix original movie when her roommate Raven Reyes stomped through the front door of their off-campus house.

Raven kicked her boots against the front door she had just slammed shut, shaking powdery snow onto the wooden floor. Her cheeks were flushed red and her dark brown hair glistened in the lamplight, small frozen droplets shining like glitter.

She looked over Clarke with appraisal, who was lounging with her feet tucked under her and a blanket wrapped loosely around her shoulders.

“I thought you had a date tonight,” Raven asked as she shed off her puffy winter coat and hung it on a hook.

Clarke took another sip of her wine and shrugged. “Obviously it didn’t go well,” she responded.

Raven flopped unceremoniously onto the leather couch beside her, kicking her feet onto the coffee table so suddenly she nearly knocked over Clarke’s wine glass. She reached for the bottle that was sitting on a coaster on the table and took a swig, grimacing as the sickly sweet liquid hit her lips.

“That’s the third date this month you left early,” Raven observed with an arched brow. “It seems like you’re just making up excuses at this point. What was wrong this time?”

Clarke shot her an indignant look and sat up a little straighter on the couch. “He wore shorts.”

“And?”

“And then he spent the whole dinner claiming he didn’t understand why people wouldn’t wear shorts in the snow. He kept bragging about how he never got cold.”

Raven burst out laughing and reached over the throw pillows to lightly hit Clarke’s bicep so she’d laugh too.

“Fine, I’ll give you that one,” Raven lamented, “but the other two dates were perfectly fine.” Clarke opened her mouth to protest, but Raven cut her off before she could. “And before you even think about saying anything, that girl not pushing in her chair all the way is not a valid reason not to date someone. It’s an excuse, and a flimsy one at that.”

Clarke pivoted on the couch so that her feet were no longer tucked beneath her, but instead stretched on the cushions in front of her as her back leaned against the armrest. “It’s almost winter break, Ray. There’s no point in me starting a relationship now when I live two hours from here. We wouldn’t even see each other for a month. I don’t know why I even keep going on these stupid Hinge dates.”

Her roommate stared at her, unimpressed. “Yeah, and we both know that this has absolutely nothing to do with a certain boy back home either.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and reached to pick up a throw pillow from beside her on the couch. “I regret every telling you about him,” she said.

Raven tsk’ed her tongue three times, wagging a finger at her friend. “You didn’t tell me about him. I found out all by my lonesome, remember?”

The blonde launched the pillow she’d been holding at Raven, and then turned her attention back to the romance movie still playing on the television, effectively ending the conversation.

********************************

_~NINE AND A HALF MONTHS BEFORE~_

_Clarke fluffed her pillows again, for what was the fifth time Raven had counted that hour. Raven sat on Clarke’s bed with her back against the wall and feet outstretched, shooting a pointed look at Harper as Clarke continued to pace around the room, straightening papers on her desk that weren’t crooked. _

_“Clarke,” Harper ventured, her voice more gentle than Raven’s would have been. “What are you doing? You’re acting strange.”_

_She looked up, as if only realizing now for the first time that her roommates were present in her room with her. “Hmm?” She asked as she picked up a photograph from her bookshelf, her fingers brushing gently against the frame. Harper looked at her expectantly, and it seemed as though Clarke finally heard the question she’d been asked. “No, I’m completely fine. Don’t worry.”_

_Harper raised both eyes with skepticism, but bit her lip and refrained from commenting. Raven, however, lacked such restraint and said, voice dripping with sarcasm, “‘Oh, we’re just friends’… that’s such bullshit, Clarke. Plenty of your friends from home have visited before, but you’ve never been this weird about introducing us before.”_

_Clarke placed the photograph back on the bookshelf and turned to face Raven, leaning her back casually against her bedroom wall. “Raven, I swear! We’re platonic; there’s nothing romantic between us. Like, at all.”_

_Raven and Harper locked eyes again, but neither pushed the issue. Instead, the former pushed herself up off the bed and strode over to Clarke, throwing an arm loosely around her friend’s shoulders. “Ok, fine. Why don’t we go out to the living room and order pizza while we wait for your ‘strictly-a-friend’ to arrive?”_

_Clarke nodded and reached her hand up to interlock her fingers with Raven’s, and the three girls turned off the bedroom light and walked together to the living room, where they plopped on the couch._

_Harper called the pizza place up the street and ordered their usual pepperoni party pizza while Clarke began surfing the channels on the flat screen above the mantel. Raven, who had left for the kitchen a moment beforehand, returned with three seltzers from the fridge._

_Once the pizza had been ordered and the girls had decided on watching the classic Disney movie _The Luck of the Irish_, the doorbell rang. Raven jumped up from the sofa, sloshing some seltzer onto Harper, who groaned dramatically._

_“Oh, relax!” Raven yelled as she marched to the door. “You’re acting like I just hit a puppy, not spilled some of my drink on you.”_

_Raven and Harper were still yelling back and forth to each other as Raven flung the front door open, expecting their party pizza._

_Instead, Bellamy Blake stood on the other side, one hand flying automatically to his head to ruffle his hair. Immediately, Raven shut her mouth mid-sentence, causing Harper to try to peer down the hall from her spot on the couch. _

_Raven said, in a voice far too loud to be casual, “Hi! You must be Bellamy!”_

_He chuckled lowly and extended the hand that hadn’t just been tangled in his brown curls. “And I’m assuming you’re Raven?”_

_While they shook hands, Raven pulled him through the doorway and linked her arm through his elbow, patting his arm reassuringly. “In the flesh… now come on, we’re going to have _so_ much fun.”_

_As soon as Bellamy walked through the threshold into the living room, Clarke abandoned her spot on the couch as her feet carried her subconsciously toward him. _

_Without worrying about the looks her roommates were surely throwing each other, Clarke allowed herself to wrap her arms tightly around Bellamy’s waist, burying her face in his chest as he returned her strong grip._

_When the pair released each other, Harper had already abandoned her spot next to Clarke on the couch, and had moved to sit next to Raven on the loveseat against the windows. _

_“Subtle,” Clarke thought, but said nothing aloud. Instead, she sat down next to Bellamy on the couch, thigh to thigh, and allowed him to rest an arm around her shoulder._

_After a brief silence among the group, Harper cleared her throat and addressed Bellamy. “So, Clarke says you guys have been friends for what, like, ten years?”_

_He craned his neck to peer over at Clarke, and then turned to face Harper once more. “Yeah, more than ten years now. We’ve known each other since we were eleven… ‘course, I’ve had plenty of friends. Clarke is pretty much my groupie.”_

_Clarke playfully slapped Bellamy’s arm, and then scooted away toward the other end of the couch. She rested her back against the armrest and stretched out her legs to rest on his lap. Bellamy squeezed her foot as the pair shared a private smile._

_“Bellamy likes to think that he was a God in high school, that everyone worshipped him. He likes me because I refuse to join his fan club,” Clarke clarified for her friends after shooting a wink at Bellamy. _

_“That why you were begging to go to prom with me?” He retorted, tickling her foot._

_Clarke freed her foot, kicking his rib cage hard in the process. Bellamy began rubbing his ribs, but Clarke ignored his dramatic moaning, instead responding, “Please, I had so many offers for prom dates. You’re lucky I even went with you.”_

_“You’re right,” he said, and that was the end of the topic._

_Raven, who had been watching their banter rather amused, directed another question at Bellamy._

_“So, Clarke says the two of you are_ just_ friends?”_

_Her feet were in his lap again, but when Bellamy looked curiously over at Clarke, she stared steadfastly ahead, refusing to make eye contact with any of her friends._

_He chuckled again, sounding more like the awkward man from their doorway earlier than the bantering, egotistical guy only moment beforehand. “Yeah, I guess so,” he said, not looking at Raven, but still trying to catch Clarke’s eye. _

_“So, you’re single then?” she asked._

_Now, his head perked up like a dog that had just heard the telltale breaking of the mail truck. Slowly, as if sensing a trap, he said, “Yes.”_

_Raven smiled like the cat that ate the canary. “Good, because you, as I’m sure you’re well aware, are extremely attractive. I know someone who would be _perfect_ for you.”_

_“Raven…” Harper warned, but was immediately shushed by the other brunette._

_“What? I just think that someone that attractive, and that single, should have a little fun while he’s visiting. I’m sure Clarke wouldn’t mind. Would you, Clarke?”_

_Clarke sat up, no longer leaning against the armrest but rather now ramrod straight. She narrowed her eyes at Raven, who wore a matching expression. Bellamy and Harper looked back and forth between the two girls, who seemed to be communicating with just facial expressions._

_They finally broke eye contact, but rather than responding to Raven, Clarke reached out and grabbed Bellamy’s hand, pulling him to his feet. “Let’s go to my room, yeah?” she asked needlessly, as he was already following her._

_As Clarke closed her bedroom door, the last thing she heard was Harper furiously whispering to Raven, complaining that she had been needlessly cruel just to prove a point._

_Inside Clarke’s room, the pair sat on her couch, a John Mullaney special playing unwatched on her television. Clarke stared at the TV, but Bellamy knew her well enough to know her mind was elsewhere._

_“What was that all about, Clarke?” he asked quietly._

_Clarke sighed, but turned her head to face him anyway. “My roommates keep hounding me, trying to figure out if you and I are dating or in love or some other bullshit. That was Raven’s not-so-subtle way of trying to annoy me for saying that we’re not.”_

_“I see,” he said, but nothing more._

_Clarke reached for the remote and turned the movie on mute, resting her elbow against the back of the couch and her head on her open palm to face Bellamy more completely. “And?”_

_“So I’m_ just a friend_ to you?” Bellamy replied, his eyes boring into hers._

_“Of course not,” she said slowly. “You know you’re not.”_

_Bellamy, now resting with his elbow against the back of the couch in a position mirroring Clarke’s, leaned toward her, closing the distance between them. _

_His lips brushed lightly against hers, and she threaded her fingers through his curls, deepening the kiss._

_He moved one hand to rest on her lower back, pulling her as close to him as their positions allowed. Clarke got the message, and adjusted herself so she was able to straddle his lap._

_Bellamy palmed her ass with one hand, the other resting on the small of her back between her shoulder blades, pushing her closer, always closer._

_Clarke rolled her hips toward his, and a strangled groan escaped Bellamy’s lips, causing Clarke to release a breathy laugh._

_“Not funny,” he pouted, eyebrows creased together even as his the mischievous glint in his eyes revealed his true feelings. _

_“Not sorry,” she murmured just before kissing his forehead, straightening out his brow. She moved on, kissing his lips once more to wipe the pout right off of his face._

_Clarke broke away from where she had migrated to sucking on Bellamy’s neck long enough for him to lift her shirt over her head, and his hands languidly roamed her back._

_She leaned back from Bellamy, kneeling with her thighs on other side of his own and hands propped on his chest, and admired her work. Bellamy’s cheeks were flushed and his rib cage moved up and down rapidly. Smirking, Clarke slowly dragged her fingers down his chest to the hem of his shirt, and he eagerly allowed her to lift it over his head._

_Both of them stared at each other for a moment, newly exposed, but smiling widely nonetheless. Bellamy reached out, his hand cupping the back of her head, tangling in her blonde hair, and pulled her close to him once more._

_Her lips crashed onto his once more, the quiet spark between them from only a moment before now a burning flame._

_As Bellamy reached behind Clarke with his free hand, moving to unclasp her bra, Clarke’s bedroom door flew open._

_Both heads snapped toward the door, where Raven stood, leaning casually against the frame. “Oh, please,” she drawled. “Don’t stop on my account.”_

_Bellamy tossed his shirt at Clarke, and she gratefully pulled it on over her now bare chest. Without moving from her compromising position on her ‘strictly-a-friend’s’ lap, Clarke addressed her roommate. “What the Hell do you want, Ray?”_

_Her smug grin faded to something more sheepish, if only for a moment. “Harper sent me in here to apologize. I wasn’t being very kind to you guys, and probably made a horrible impression on Bellamy… although, it looks as though I may not have been wrong about your feelings?”_

_Bellamy arched an eyebrow at Clarke, and she reflexively moved to peck his lips quickly before facing her roommate once more. “Raven, I swear to god, if you don’t leave this bedroom right now, you’re going to see things you _really_ don’t want to.”_

_“Ok, ok,” she muttered, pushing herself from her spot against the frame and retreating from the room. Just before she shut the door completely, however, she yelled, “You kids have fun! And don’t forget: no glove, no love!”_

_* * *_

_The next morning, Bellamy was leaving to have brunch with Murphy, his and Clarke’s only other friend from Arkadia to attend Clarke’s university. As soon as she closed the door behind him, bidding him farewell and telling him to text her when he’d be back later, someone cleared a throat._

_Clarke spun on her toes to find herself face-to-face with Raven and Harper, both holding mugs of steaming coffee and wearing identical smug expressions._

_“So, I see my goading may have been beneficial, yes?” Raven practically sang._

_Clarke groaned dramatically, and then replied, “Stop your gloating, Reyes. You didn’t make this happen.”_

_Harper raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t she, though?”_

_“No! Bellamy and I have been…” Clarke started, but paused to consider her word choice. Raven smirked, already excited to hear what Clarke would call this now that she’d been caught. “…hooking up for three years now.”_

_Clearly that hadn’t been what the girls expected, for Raven nearly choked on her coffee. Harper pounded her back as she demanded to know, “wait, so you’ve been with this boy for literal years, and have lied to us every time we asked about him?”_

_“I never _lied_ to you guys,” she offered. “I said we’re _platonic_, and definitely _not romantic_. You always asked if I’m in love with him, but never asked if we fuck,” she finished with a nonchalant shrug._

_“Jesus Christ,” Harper muttered as Raven finally finished coughing._

_Clarke began walking back down the hall toward her bedroom. “Where are you going?” Raven shouted after her. “I’m not done asking questions yet!”_

_“To wash my sheets,” Clarke said, shooting a wink over her shoulder as she shut her bedroom door behind her. _

_ ************************************_

_~PRESENT~_

Raven and Clarke watched the rest of the Netflix movie in amiable silence, only breaking the quiet occasionally to scream at the ridiculousness of the plotline.

“Stop pretending to have cancer, you fucking asswipe!” Raven yelled, throwing a handful of popcorn at the screen and missing abysmally.

Clarke shook her head at the popcorn littering the floor, but pointed a finger gun at Raven in agreement anyway. “This girl is such a… such a manic pixie dream girl. And of course they’re gonna fucking kill her off at the end. God, this movie sucks.”

Thudding footsteps on the staircase signified the arrival of another person. Harper poked her head around the doorway, looking everywhere besides at the two of her roommates.

Raven and Clarke exchanged looks, and Clarke said, “Ok, fine, I’ll ask. What are you looking for, Harper?”

Without missing a beat, she replied, “Whatever is assaulting the two of you and causing you to scream. Some of us in this house were trying to sleep, you know.”

“Sorry,” Raven said, flashing an apologetic smile.

Harper moved further into the room and plopped onto the couch between her two roommates and peer perplexedly at the screen. “What on Earth are the two of you watching?”

Clarke and Raven both burst out laughing. “I’m not even sure,” Raven offered. “Clarke picked it. It’s the last time I ever let her pick a movie.”

Sticking her tongue out briefly at Raven, Clarke told her other roommate, “It’s like a bad knock-off version of _the Fault in Our Stars_. It, admittedly, wasn’t my best choice.”

Harper nodded in response, eyes still glued to the scene in front of her where two teenagers are diving into an indoor public pool they’d broken into. “If it’s so bad, then why are you guys even watching it?”

Raven jutted her chin out, barely containing a smirk. “Boredom, mostly,” she replied. “Clarke wouldn’t answer any of my questions, so it was either watch this or have a one-sided conversation… though now, I’m thinking I made the wrong choice.”

“Ha ha ha,” Clarke droned. “You’re very funny, Reyes. You know that?”

“Don’t sidetrack us,” Harper quipped back. “Why aren’t you answering Raven’s questions?”

“I’ll tell you why!” Raven announced as Clarke shot her a look that said _I’d really rather you didn’t_. “Clarke is going on dates, but leaves every single one early. Care to venture a guess as to why?”

Harper jumped up and down on the couch, raising her hand excitedly like a schoolgirl. “I know! I know! It’s Bellamy, isn’t it?”

“Ok, I’ve told you guys this like a hundred times since St. Patrick’s Day. There is _nothing _romantic between us. He sees me as just a friend. Ok?” Clarke asked, thinly veiling her annoyance. “We’re friends, obviously, but if we wanted something more, we would’ve made it happen by now. It’s only a convenience thing.”

Sensing that Clarke’s patience was wearing thin, her roommates treaded lightly, with Harper moving first. “I see your point that something would have happened by now if you wanted it to… however, I think that it’s more than convenience. Like, you guys go to dinner the two of you or to the movies and cuddle. Like, that’s not a no-strings-attached kinda deal.”

Clarke shifted completely 180º so that her feet were up in the air against the wall and back of the couch, and that her torso and head hung off the edge, hair dangling toward the floor.

“It’s not no-strings-attached, though. We’re friends, which is why the line gets so blurry. Like, I’m good friends with his family, which is something strictly-a-fuck-buddy wouldn’t do, and we hang out and text frequently because we’re friends. People seem to forget that the friends in friends-with-benefits exists.”

Raven reached behind Harper, stretching to reach Clarke’s foot, and squeezed it from where it rested against the wall. “We know you’re friends, Clarke. And we’re not saying you aren’t. We just want you to really, truly think about whether or not he may possibly have feelings that are more than friendly for you. Has he ever given you any indication that he may?”

“Well…” Clarke began, voice quiet. “There is one story from my summer I may never have gotten around to telling you guys.”

_ ********************************************_

_~THREE AND A HALF MONTHS BEFORE~_

_This was the first summer ever that Clarke hadn’t been home in Arkadia. For the last ten weeks, she had been jet-setting around Europe, visiting multiple countries, walking miles upon miles each day, and eating deliciously rich food to her heart’s content. Ten weeks, however, was a long time to be alone, so when she stepped off the plane into the terminal in Arkadia, she didn’t lament that her vacation had ended. No, it was good to be home._

_Bellamy Blake: Watched your snap story_

_ You’re home?_

_Clarke Griffin: After the flight from Hell, yep finally_

_Bellamy Blake: What happened?_

_Clarke Griffin: It was delayed four hours, and turbulent the whole six hour ride_

_ It was BRUTAL_

_Bellamy Blake: Better late than never ;)_

_ You around tomorrow?_

_Clarke Griffin: Well, no job would hire me for the two weeks I’ll be in Arkadia_

_ So until school starts, yep I’ll be around_

_Bellamy Blake: Good I’m coming over_

_ Go to sleep, I don’t want you jet lagged tomorrow_

_Clarke Griffin: Good night, Bell_

_Bellamy Blake: Night Princess_

_* * *_

_The next day, all of the rain Clarke had avoided on the Mediterranean caught up to her. The sky opened up and showed no sign of stopping. So when Bellamy came over, instead of sitting by her pool as they had planned, the two opted to go to the bar instead._

_The two sat on squeaky stools, and Clarke sipped a Moscow Mule as Bellamy washed down his buffalo wings with a beer. It had been nearly half a year since they’d last seen each other, and from the moment that Bellamy’s beaten up Toyota Corolla had pulled up against the curb in front of Clarke’s house, they hadn’t stopped talking. _

_As Bellamy finished a sip of his beer, he began telling Clarke the story about how a guy from his rugby team at college tried to catfish him on Snapchat. _

_Clarke had to put her Mule down, convulsing with a fit of laughter as she pictured Bellamy’s face when he discovered the girl that he thought he’d been talking to was actually his friend._

_“So did you send him nudes?” Clarke asked excitedly, wanting every detail he’d allow her of this story. _

_Bellamy looked affronted. “Of course not,” he said. “As if I’d send any other girl nudes.”_

_Clarke tilted her head to the side with her eyebrows creased in confusion. Bellamy continued talking, telling another story about his rugby friends, but she was no longer listening. Too many thoughts ran through her mind. _Any other girl_? As if he even sends Clarke nudes. Plus, she’s not his girlfriend, so it’s not like she cares if he talks to other girls. Sure, it may be weird to hear if he were having sex with other girls, but just talking to them is something else entirely. Plus, she has no claim over him whatsoever._

_Suddenly realizing that his friend wasn’t listening, he waved a hand in front of her eyes. “Earth to Clarke?”_

_She smiled somewhat shakily and apologized for not having heard him, blaming it on her jetlag. Seemingly finding this a good enough excuse, Bellamy continued talking, and this time Clarke exerted enough effort to listen._

_* * *_

_By the time Bellamy and Clarke had finished a round of drinks and opted to head back to her house, the rain had mostly cleared, meaning that the pair could finally go swimming._

_Ever competitive, they decided to play a game instead of swimming for pleasure. “Beating you is much more fun than relaxing,” is how Clarke had phrased it._

_Like any pool game, Dibble Dabble is dangerous and should be played with adult supervision. Bellamy and Clarke, being twenty-one-almost-twenty-two year olds, however, had no supervision, and nearly drowned each other on multiple occasions._

_The clear bottle cap was placed on the floor of the deep end of the pool, so Bellamy and Clarke waited patiently (albeit as patiently as they knew how) in the light drizzling of rain for the bottle cap to slowly rise to the surface so that they could catch it while jumping in._

_The first round, Bellamy caught the bottle cap, but had forgotten to yell dibble dabble before his head went underwater, and was thus disqualified. _

_The next round, in order to avenge himself, Bellamy pushed Clarke in before the bottle cap reached the surface so that she would miss it. He was, again, disqualified._

_The third round, Clarke tried to shove Bellamy in, using all of her strength to try and tip him into the water, her breasts pressed firmly against his bare back as she reached around his waist to try and grab his wrists._

_“You know,” Bellamy said, “I don’t hate this position.”_

_She dropped his wrists and punched his back instead, giving up. Before she even had time to revert her mindset back toward the game, she was suddenly scooped into Bellamy’s arms bridal style, and together they plunged into the water._

_When Clarke resurfaced, she wiped her eyes with her knuckles and looked around the pool as she treaded, trying to catch sight of Bellamy’s sodden curls. He stood in the waist-deep water of the shallow end, back against the wall, watching her._

_Underwater, Clarke closed the distance between the two of them in one breath, resurfacing only when she was within a foot of him._

_As soon as Clarke’s head broke the surface of the water and she stood up, Bellamy’s arms wrapped themselves around her waist, squeezing just above her hips gently._

_Clarke placed each of her hands on his biceps, leaning her head back and tilting her chin up toward the grey sky to see him better._

_“I don’t hate this position, either,” he joked, though his husky voice betrayed his desire._

_Shrugging, with an air far more casual than she felt, she replied, “I’ve been in better.”_

_As his dark eyes bored into her own, Clarke hoped that the smug bastard couldn’t see how still her breathing had become. Still ever competitive, she refused to allow him to know how much his look alone affected her heart beat, how his arms tracing a light pattern of circles on her spine caused her to forget how to exhale. _

_She refused to break eye contact._

_Only did they jump away when Abby Griffin opened the door on the back deck, yelling that they’d get pneumonia if they didn’t get away from the freezing rain soon. When Bellamy lifted himself out of the pool, Clarke watched shamelessly as his arm muscles flexed with the exertion and the water dripped off the hard planes of his body. They locked eyes again, and she licked her lips appreciatively as Bellamy winked at her._

_“See something you like, Griffin?” _

_“Almost,” she replied, cocking her head to side as she continued to appraise him unabashedly. “I think I’d like it more if we’d been skinny dipping.”_

_As Clarke climbed painfully slowly up the staircase and out of the pool, she arched one eyebrow at Bellamy, savoring the way he stared at her, as if he were a drowning man and she were a gulp of fresh air. _

_* * *_

_First, Clarke had expected Bellamy to leave after drinks. When he hadn’t, she assumed he would leave immediately after drying off. He, however, was still there long after they dried off, long after she washed the chlorine from her hair in the shower, and long after her mom ordered pizza for dinner, because if there was one thing Abby Griffin couldn’t do, it was cook._

_Not that she minded, of course. After spending her entire summer abroad, there was no one she had wanted to see more than him, no one she had missed more than him—even more, oddly enough, than when they were away at separate universities. At least when they were on the same continent could they text frequently._

_So after pizza, Bellamy and Clarke laid on her bed, her laptop playing _Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile_ between them. Her bedroom door, according to her mother’s house rules, of course, remained open wide._

_Halfway through the movie, while the full moon reflected into her window, the night having fallen hours before, Bellamy moved the laptop from the comforter between them to his chest. He wrapped one arm around Clarke’s back, urging her closer to him. _

_Clarke scooted so that her head rested on his chest near the crook of his shoulder and neck, the perfect spot to hear to calm beating of his heart. Bellamy wrapped both arms tightly around her, absentmindedly rubbing soothing circles on her hipbone with his thumb._

_Daring herself to look for a reaction, Clarke craned her neck uncomfortably as she informed Bellamy, “We can’t have sex tonight, you know. Not with my mom here, anyway.”_

_His face remained neutral besides the faint flickering of confusion, passing as quickly as a shooting star in the sky. “That’s fine, Clarke,” he said, and then leaned down to kiss her forehead._

_His hand ceased the mindless tracing of her hipbone so he could lift his thumb and caress her cheekbone. “I don’t just hang out with you for the sex, Clarke. You are ridiculously more to me than just sex, ok?”_

_Clarke nodded, eyeing the still-neutral expression sitting on Bellamy’s face, which contradicted the sharp increase in his heartbeat. “Ok,” she said, and he smiled gently. “Let’s watch the movie, ok?”_

_She turned her face quickly back toward the screen, glad that he couldn’t see the uncontainable grin that had erupted onto her face like fireworks. _

_By the time the credits were rolling, Bellamy had long since placed Clarke’s laptop on the floor beneath her bed, and the pair were both steadfastly sleeping together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase, still intertwined. _

_Abby Griffin peered through the still-open bedroom door and covered her small smile with a manicured hand. She shut off the lights and closed the door, deciding her daughter could do a hell of a lot worse than Bellamy Blake. _

******************************

~PRESENT~

Raven and Harper stared at each other dumbfounded, completely lacking the comprehension skills necessary to wrap their minds around how Clarke could be so naïve.

“You realize,” Raven said with a pause, closing her eyes and tipping her head back toward the ceiling. With the release of a breath, she slowly opened her eyes and lowered her chin, looking at Clarke once more. “You realize that he told you he doesn’t feel the same about this situation that you do, yeah?

Mimicking Raven’s own exasperation, Clarke said slowly, enunciating each word clearly, “No, Ray. He clearly means that I’m his friend too, in addition to the sex.”

Raven threw up her hands and turned away from Clarke completely, instead facing their calmer roommate, silently pleading that Harper say something too.

“What I think Raven is so indelicately trying to say,” Harper began, “is that from what we’ve heard from your stories, and what we’ve seen personally, even a blind man could see how much he cares about you… as more than a friend.” Although Raven had rolled her eyes when Harper called her indelicate, she now crossed her arms across her chest triumphantly.

“Even if that were true— and I’m _not _saying that it is,” Clarke interrupted herself to shoot a pointed look at Raven, “— we’re graduating in a few months. And I’m moving far from Arkadia, far from here. My life won’t be as simple as spending nights at the Dropship anymore. It just doesn’t make sense right now, for me to start a relationship. You know what they say, though. If it’s meant to be, it will be.”

“Ok, I’ve stayed silent about this for a LONG time.” Raven announced, leaping up from the couch onto her feet and pivoting to face her friends.

“Have you, though?” Harper muttered under her breath. If Raven heard her, she made no acknowledgement and continued speaking as if she hadn’t been interrupted.

“That’s COMPLETE bullshit, Clarke. A relationship isn’t something that works like magic just because it’s written in the stars or whatever. Nothing will happen just because it’s ‘meant to be’. If you want something, you need to work for it and put in effort. So stop making up excuses. If you don’t want to be with Bellamy, fine. I respect your decision.

But, Clarke... I just want you to be happy, and I don’t want you to regret never having tried things with him just because ‘it’s not the right time’ or because ‘it would be too hard’. If you want him, you have to tell him, and you have to try. Because otherwise, he’s going to be the one who got away, and you’ll always be wondering ‘what if’’.”

Clarke’s face, which had been schooled with narrowed eyes and a clenched jaw as Raven ranted, softened as Raven finished talking. She reached out from where she sat, intertwining her fingers around Raven’s. With her other hand, Clarke reached out for Harper as well, gently squeezing her roommates’ hands.

“I just don’t want you to regret giving him up, Clarke,” Raven said once more, her voice sympathetic yet firm. “Think about it, ok?”

Clarke shook her head, and cut Harper off before she could protest. “I don’t need to think about it. I know you’re right. I need to stop lying to myself and to Bell about how I feel just because I’m afraid of fucking us up.”

Harper parted her lips slightly, raising one eyebrow, and stared at her blonde roommate. After a brief moment where the three girls stared unblinkingly at one another, she said, “I know we’ve been talking about this for literal months… but this kinda seemed, I don’t know, too easy?”

“Shhh,” Raven hushed her. “Don’t jinx this. Clarke is finally coming to her senses and realizing that ‘strictly-a-friend’s don’t make you feel golden.”

Clarke dropped Raven’s hand and collapsed heavily onto the couch cushion behind her. “I told you that in confidence,” she groaned.

**********************************

_~ONE WEEK BEFORE~_

_The dance floor at the bar was sticky from spilled beer, and Clarke’s was beginning to regret her decision to wear her new white sneakers. Sure, she looked cute, but was this a price she was willing to pay?_

_ “Party in the USA”_ _by Miley Cyrus just finished playing over the speakers, and in its place blared an old Eminem song that was impossible to dance to. Clarke left the dance floor, maneuvering her way toward the bar to order another drink when she saw Octavia Blake._

_Octavia run up to Clarke, throwing her arms around her waist and spinning the two of them in a circle. The bartender slid Clarke her lager, and Clarke placed a few bills on the counter just in time for Octavia to drag her off by the wrist._

_“How’d you even get in here, O?” Clarke shouted over the music when Octavia finished dragging her and they stood facing each other near a more secluded area of the bar. “You’re not 21 yet.”_

_Octavia waved her off, saying, as if it were the simplest thing in the world, “No one carded me; they just wanted the cover charge, which I gladly paid.”_

_Clarke nodded and took a sip of her beer, slowly scanning the crowded room as she half-listened to the younger girl droning on beside her. As Octavia was continuing the tell a story about how she scored a free drink from a semi-decent looking guy earlier, Clarke’s eyes locked with a pair of dark brown ones._

_Bellamy Blake excused himself from where he’d been talking to one of his former teammates from high school rugby, and strode over to Clarke and his sister in a few short strides. _

_He wrapped Clarke in his arms in greeting, and while his sister had hugged her quickly and giddily, he held her tight, and the rest of the world disappeared around them. _

_When they broke apart, Octavia had already run off again, her red hair ribbon visible only fleetingly as she disappeared onto the crowded dance floor. “It’s about time you got here,” he said sternly, but his upturned lips betrayed him._

_Just as seriously, Clarke turned her head slightly to the side, her chin angled up toward him. With sparkling eyes, she responded, “I’ve been here a while, actually. Got a little distracted dancing, though… priorities and whatnot.” _

_The corners of Bellamy’s eyes crinkled as he smiled, his grin broad and unrestrained. “Ahhh,” he nodded, his tone still solemn, “How dumb of me? I should have known”._

_Clarke punched his arm, shaking her head fondly. He caught her wrist and held it against his chest, and it was although his pupils were dilated from the dim lighting, Clarke swore they grew larger as he stared at her._

_She wet her lips as everyone else in the room faded around her. She couldn’t even hear the music over the loud beating of her heart, couldn’t tell if she was feeling warm from the density of people in the bar or her close proximity to Bellamy. He tugged lightly on her wrist, and Clarke took an involuntary step toward him._

_Bellamy reached his free hand toward Clarke, his hand gently tilting her chin toward his own face. Just as he was leaning, about the close the small distance between the two of them, a girl stumbled, spilling her vodka cran down the front of his shirt._

_The pair jumped apart as quickly as though they’d been shocked by an electric current, and Clarke fumbled the bar next to her for napkins. She dabbed the wet patch, trying to dry the material before his shirt stained._

_The girl was stood next to them, gaping like a fish out of water. She broke herself out of her reverie, and began apologizing profusely. Bellamy smiled and patted her shoulder, accepting her apology and excusing himself to deal with his shirt in the bathroom._

_Even after Bellamy had walked away, the girl continued to stand with Clarke next to the bar. She signaled to the bartender for another round, and leaned her elbow against the bar as she faced Clarke._

_“I haven’t seen you here before. You Bellamy’s friend?” she asked, looking Clarke up and down curiously, the way a child may scrutinize a bug on the sidewalk._

_Clarke fought the urge to roll her eyes. Of course, she had gone to high school with this girl too, had recognized her immediately as Lilly Marsh; but she wasn’t about to argue. “Yeah,” she replied, eyes flickering to the bathroom._

_Lilly nodded as if she knew secrets of the world Clarke couldn’t possibly comprehend. “Well,” she shared, “I grew up with Bellamy. We actually went to high school together.”_

_Clarke bit her inner cheek and took a deep breath, forcing herself to smile and nod as if this conversation weren’t the last thing she wanted to be doing at the moment._

_“Anyway, I could tell you so many stories about him. Have you ever heard about what happened to him freshman year during gym class?”_

_Although it pained Clarke to admit this girl that Bellamy probably hadn’t spoken to since graduation knew a story about him that she didn’t, she told Lilly no anyway, that she hadn’t heard that particular story._

_Lilly lit up like a Christmas tree. “Well, our high school was really old and ridiculously shitty for our first two years of high school… you know, before they built a new one, anyway.” Clarke wanted to say that she knew, because she attended that school too, but instead gestured for Lilly to continue._

_“So, for some reason I’ll never comprehend, the entrance to the yoga room was inside the girls’ locker room. And, again, for some godforsaken reason, all freshmen were required to take a semester of yoga for gym class._

_Whenever the girls were all done changing, they would go to the door, and unlock it so the boys and gym teachers could come inside. So, anyway, I had the key one-day, and went to unlock the door once all of the girls had finished changing._

_When I get near the door, I see Bellamy sitting on the floor, hoodie covering his eyes, head between his knees. As he heard my footsteps, he lifted his head and lifted a hand to shield his eyes, and yelled, ‘Hello? Is someone there?’_

_I asked him what he was doing, and he responded that he accidentally got locked in the girls’ locker room the period beforehand, and that he didn’t want to be gross and accidentally see something he wasn’t supposed to if he walked around looking for help. _

_So, instead, he just sat on the floor of the locker room for half a period, hoping somebody would find him.”_

_As Lilly finished her story, Bellamy sauntered back over to the two girls, his shirt already nearly dry. He stood behind Clarke, rubbing her shoulders as he shot a friendly smile at Lilly, as if realizing for the first time that the girl who soaked him was an old friend. _

_“Hey Lilly,” he said. “What are you guys talking about?”_

_She winked conspiratorially at Clarke and shined a wide grin at Bellamy. “Oh nothing,” she said mischievously. “I was just telling your girlfriend a funny story about you.”_

_Bellamy didn’t even bother correcting Lilly’s assumption about their relationship. Instead he eyed her suspiciously, and asked with a forced casualness that wasn’t reflected in his eyes, “What story?”_

_“How you got locked in the girls’ locker room freshman year. Don’t worry, nothing too damning. Anyway, it was nice too see you Bellamy,” she said with a smile before turning to Clarke and saying, “and it was so nice to meet you! Have a happy Thanksgiving, guys!”_

_She turned and walked off as suddenly as she had first appeared, leaving Bellamy staring at Clarke quizzically. “Nice to meet you?” he asked her, his eyebrow quirked._

_Clarke shrugged, having stopped carrying minutes earlier about the things Lilly Marsh said to her. “I don’t even know,” she laughed. “Let’s just go dance.”_

_* * *_

_When the Dropship closed at 1 am, Clarke and Bellamy weaved through the crowds of people on the sidewalk for Octavia. They found her with a group of kids that graduated two years behind Clarke and Bellamy, debating heatedly the former President JFK had been a member of the Irish Mob in Boston._

_“All I’m saying,” said one of the boys, Jasper Jordan, as he adjusted the goggles resting on his hairline, “is that the Italian Mob would _not_ have liked an Irishman being in such a powerful position in the country. We’ve all heard of Whitey Bulger, obviously, but what if JFK was the leader of the Mob before he had been, and the Italians killed him to restore the equilibrium in Boston?”_

_Monty, the other boy with whom Octavia was arguing, puffed a joint twice then passed it to Jasper, who was still rambling on about the power of the mafia._

_Bellamy interrupted, placing a hand on his sister’s shoulder and startling the three, who had been too involved in their conspiracy theory to notice the older pair’s approach._

_“O,” Bellamy began, “it’s time to go. Clarke and I are gonna walk home with you now.”_

_Octavia pouted exaggeratedly, crossing her arms across her chest as she stared defiantly at her brother. “But I’m having fun, Bell! And plus, you’re not my dad. I can stay out with these guys if I want.”_

_He looked unimpressed, and Octavia’s pout lessened slightly. “If you don’t want Mom to find out that you’ve been out drinking at the Dropship with all the college kids tonight, then yeah, you kind of do have to listen to what I say. Now, come one.”_

_Deciding her brother may have a valid point, Octavia stood up from her spot on the curb and wiped imaginary dirt off her jeans. She blew a kiss toward Jasper and Monty, who saluted her as she skipped away with her sibling._

_Bellamy and Clarke trailed behind her, not nearly as drunk nor as excited as Octavia. Bellamy often said that his little sister was like a cheetah, capable of going zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds, completely wild and fierce, but also a total softy._

_She threw her arms open wide as the three walked in the middle of the street, not worried about cars so late at night, and spun around in circles with her head tilted toward the sky. She laughed in time with her spinning, faster and faster until she nearly toppled over._

_Bellamy grabbed her elbow with his hands, steadying his sister. “Octavia, what are you doing?” Under his breathe, he muttered, “God, I knew it was a bad idea to let her come to the bar. She’s too young.”_

_“Come on, Bell!” Octavia shrieked with glee, reminiscent of how she used to jump on his bed early Christmas morning, begging Bellamy to come downstairs to open presents with her. “Try it! I promise you won’t regret it.”_

_Clarke and Bellamy looked at each other and shrugged, then mirrored Octavia with arms thrown to the wind, a cacophony of giggling bursting from them all as they twirled._

_When Clarke stumbled as Octavia had before her, Bellamy steadied her just the same. With sparkling eyes and beaming teeth, Bellamy couldn’t help but think that Clarke lit up the desolate street just as well as the overhead lights._

_“You Blakes have a tendency of making me feel so alive, so golden” she said simply, as if it were a fact, as if she were saying that the sun is hot or that chocolate tastes good, but not as if she were giving Bellamy the best compliment he’d ever received. _

*********************************

~PRESENT~

Clarke Griffin: hey

Bellamy Blake: you’re home early

thought you had a date tn?

Clarke Griffin: wasn’t feeling it

you busy? I wanted to call

Bellamy Blake: never too busy for you

Bellamy picked up the phone on the second ring, and the sound of his voice on the other end warmed Clarke inside like melted chocolate. “Hey, everything ok, Clarke?”

Thadump thadump thadump thadump

It was difficult for Clarke to concentrate over the erratic thumping of her heart, so she took a deep, steadying breath as she wiped her palms on her pajama pants.

“Yeah, ‘course, everything’s fine,” she said, though her wavering voice conveyed the opposite as truth.

Clarke’s phone vibrated, and just as she was about to write off the sensation as a text message, it began vibrating consistently. Bellamy was requesting to Facetime instead.

She answered immediately and immediately locked eyes with him. He wore a maroon Henley and his glasses, and Clarke couldn’t help but think that the shirt highlighted his features perfectly.

Clarke could see the poster of the Colosseum she’d bought Bellamy for his birthday this year hanging next to his desk, and in the background above his bed, Clarke spied a singular framed photograph that looked suspiciously like her and Bellamy on a whale watch from two summers back.

Bellamy leaned forward from where he sat on his desk chair, waiting attentively for Clarke to speak first.

“So, I’ve been thinking, and I decided I don’t want to have casual sex with you anymore,” Clarke began, “That came out wrong… what I mean is, I don’t want anything casual with you.”

Before Clarke could fix her wording, Bellamy interrupted her, rubbing the nape of his neck as he said, “Right, so you’re calling to tell me that you don’t want to be my friend?” He chuckled humorlessly. “Couldn’t you have just ghosted me or whatever like a normal person?”

“No!” Clarke shouted, and Bellamy leaned forward even further, so far towards the screen that Clarke wouldn’t have been surprised to learn he’d been trying to physically jump through the lens to reach her. “That’s not it at all!”

Never breaking eye contact with her, he asked, “Then what is it?”

Knowing she’d never get the words out if she hesitated, Clarke rushed her sentence out in one breath, nearly panting when she finished. “I don’t want to be your friend because I want to be more. I want everything with you— I want to stay in bed late on Sunday mornings, drinking coffee in bed together; I want to wake up in the middle of the night, and have my only fleeting half-awake thought to be that I need you nearer, as I close the distance between us; I want a photo of you on my desk, so when people ask I can proudly tell them that you’re mine.”

Bellamy’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, and he sat back in the chair ramrod straight, physically blown away.

“Thought you just wanted to mess around until you moved to Polis next year? Not start anything serious until grad school?”

Clarke shook her head adamantly, strands of her hair falling into her eyes. She blew the blonde curls away from her face, looking at Bellamy imploringly. “I want to try. I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy, and the distance is probably gonna kill me, but I think it we make it, all the late night phone calls and long ass car rides to each will be worth it. Ya know?”

Bellamy’s face split open into a beaming grin, so wide he looked as though he slept with a coat hanger in his mouth.

“You know,” he said seriously, or as seriously as could with his face still stretched with a smile. “My grad program is only a year. And I hear Polis is a great place for job placement post-graduation.”

“So you’re in?”

Clarke licked her lips while her fingers bounced restlessly against the back of her phone case where she held it. Bellamy poked his tongue out of the side of his mouth, narrowing his eyes as though he were deep in thought. He watched Clarke as she nodded her head over and over and gestured with her hand, urging him to think faster.

“‘Course I’m in,” he said, and her face sagged with relief. “As if this isn’t exactly what I’ve wanted for three years now.”

“Sorry I took so long,” she offered sheepishly.

“Never too long to wait for my golden girl,” he joked, and Clarke’s cheeks turned as red as his Henley.

“Oh my god! I regret ever having said that,” she whined

“And now you’ll never hear the end of it,” he winked. But Clarke wasn’t mad. In fact, she hated to admit it, but she was feeling rather golden.


End file.
